The Leading Angel Away
I Wanted You to Know
I Loved Your Picture...So...
Like an earthquake and disasters
Of families broken in pieces of God
A foolish lost soul
Struggling to find himself
Lightnings fall from the black sky
Formed of earth and wreathed in air
I speak of despair and suicidal ideas
Because I think
No one lives here.
But you sing the song
Of I the strong man and laughter
So you say, "Never again, my Honey
And stay so young for Me
But fly away, Mr. Caterpillar.
I will call you tomorrow."
I swear
I yell and shout
I don't pick up the phone when you call
Because I don't know where I am at all,
At all.
I didn't know what I wanted, because
I didn't ask myself--
I was lost in endless maps and weird plans
Looking for a direction from too many people
And none of them to my seeing could be what I
Needed, but looking for another cigarette and
Another beer, even now
I forgot all about love. Again.
Damn.
Damn my heart.
Here, no horizon in any sight
Walking on the radius of
A sphere
A many sided way
Of looking at things
Of what she claims
Of personal misunderstanding
This idea of lots of nothing because
Everything I do, I do half-way,
The only place to meet, I always thought...
To my great horror and making excuses
Bound by circumstance self-created,
And created with the help of doubt
In all probability
And lost inside my own thoughts,
Never listening.
Tomorrow...
I thought about you, Clio
Your mind and smile
And tomorrow...
I apprehend your laughter and...
And tomorrow...
Who was she? What did I do with my make believe
Idea of this and that "I wished could be?" Outside anyone else I ever knew?
Passed out and looking around the corner
Of the floor
Like a window made of brick
Like a stupid drunk
I had no idea what to think
I didn't know, "what's up with me?"
Why every direction I walk was clumsy and
Deaf, and dumb
So far off and confused
I am sorry
I was such
A
Jackass
Love,
Anthony